I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
