Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
