He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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