In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
