I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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