so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
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