So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
