I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
