i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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