what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
