i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
