He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize