Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
