She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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