Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think pants incapable of making pants work
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
