I could make wine with my vomit
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize