my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
