Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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