physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
