jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
