How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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