My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
