1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
