I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
