I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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