ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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