he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
