I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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