As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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