how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
