Im at strip club and am horny
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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