i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
