i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize