I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
