I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
