I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
