At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You can't just leave with hair like that
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize