I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
