Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
