Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
