I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize