you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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