i wish starbucks made bloody marys
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
