Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Never joke about your clitoris.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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