So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize