Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
