Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
