all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
