This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
