What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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