The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
