marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Enjoy the penises
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
