one two three fourrrrnication!
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
