I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
