Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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