whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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