We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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