I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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