It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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