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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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