So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
