He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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